The crown is getting heavy, and he will not take it off

Big Anus Yangus hung 179.30 on Stallion Who Mounts Jeffs, who answered with 102.80 and a 76.50-point gap you could ride a horse through. That is the highest score of the week, 15.60 clear of JeffsMomsFavorite at 163.70. It is also the third straight week Yangus has posted the league high: 159.90, then 167.05, then 179.30. At this point the Iron Bank should just set up a direct deposit. Yangus sits at 3-1 with 629.35 points, the most in the realm. The Stallion is 1-3 and has been ridden hard.

Arya scored enough to win and somehow lost again. Jeff’s Mom’s TDs edged Arya Winning Jeff? 159.90 to 157.30, the closest game of the week at 2.60 points. Arya had the highest losing score of the week for the second week in a row, 133.75 in Week 3 and 157.30 in Week 4. Two Red Weddings in a row. Even the Freys are starting to feel bad for her. Mom’s TDs climb to 3-1. Arya falls to 2-2 with 599.10 points for, which is a lot of points for a team with as many losses as wins.

Jeff’s Mom picked a favorite, and it was not Jeff. JeffsMomsFavorite buried My Name Is Jeff 163.70 to 81.50, an 82.20-point beating and the biggest margin of Week 4. That 81.50 was the lowest score anyone managed all week. My Name Is Jeff has scored fewer points than any team in the league, 426.95 through four weeks, and allowed 556.10. The Favorite moves to 2-2. Somebody check whether Jeff’s mom is actually in this league. She is winning more than Jeff.

Private Jeff did not make it out this time. Jeffy Dahmer took Saving Private Jeff apart 132.20 to 88.75, a 43.45-point margin. Last week Private Jeff survived by 0.15. This week there was no thread to hang from. Dahmer is 3-1 and quietly among the top scorers with 565.40 points. Private Jeff drops to 1-3. Nobody is coming for him this time. Hanks checked the standings and went home.

Perfect record, ugly week, still counts. jeff beat Jeffyspagettipants 112.05 to 102.20, a 9.85-point win nobody will put on a banner. It keeps jeff at 4-0, the only unbeaten team left, with 582.55 points for. Jeffyspagettipants falls to 1-3. A win is a win. Nobody in the Red Keep asks how pretty it was.

The Wall has a basement, and Lord Snow found it. Dallas Jeffboys handled Lord Snow 143.35 to 116.30, a 27.05-point margin. Snow led this one at midday on Sunday. The afternoon took care of that, the way it always does. Dallas is 3-1. Lord Snow is 0-4, the only winless team in the league, and has allowed 611.50 points, more than anyone else. The Wall has never looked taller from the bottom.